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3 thoughts on “Writing | Dialogue Mechanics

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  2. Conflict of interest notice: I’ve been edited by Matthew, and probably will be again. For any readers, note that these are established points of contention between us! (Just about the only points of contention.)

    I have two disagreements with your ‘explanatory tags’ contention.

    First, that use of ‘demanded’ is correct. From the dictionary, ‘Demand, verb: ask authoritatively or brusquely.’ Bizarrely, that’s not *A* demand, because the noun has a different definition, but he is demanding. (I am being told you may fix this as I post.)

    Second, your entire example for explanatory tags is deceptive. Anyone reading this post will stumble over all of those explanatory tags. They are blatantly awkward. They’re just not awkward because they’re explanatory. They’re awkward because you have several simple statements in a row with no active text, only tags. ANY tag you use is going to look stupid, be it ‘said’, ‘asked’, whatever.

    Explanatory tags are not bad. Like all tags, they can be misused, but they have a purpose. They convey details of tone, expression, and atmosphere that cannot be conveyed by explicit description, because that would take up awkward amounts of text. In a tense scene, ‘demanded’ gives you an impression of a speaker’s voice and body language instantly, while letting you move on quickly to the next important thought. Avoiding explanatory tags weakens the emotion of your writing for no good reason. Almost all dialog tags are invisible to the casual reader unless you screw up in some other way.

    Explanatory tags have another, special purpose. In first person writing, or third person that closely follows a single point of view, an explanatory tag adds an extra layer of meaning. It tells you what that character thinks about what they’re saying and hearing. It can create a conversational flow, or break up that flow with a powerful word like ‘lied’ that conveys just how jarring a statement is that the PoV character believes is untrue.

    The problem is not explanatory tags. It is weak tags, inappropriate tags, or most often too strong tags. Purple prose saps the emotional power of a paragraph. Redundant tags can usually be removed harmlessly to make a paragraph stronger. Tags that don’t suit the mood, or use of tags without action context (beats ARE a good thing), will look stupid. Explanatory tags are at risk for these problems, but like in the quoted paragraph it is not the tags themselves. It’s how they’re being used.

    • I understand where you’re coming from. When I first started writing, I used them left and right to add more ‘oomph’ to the text and avoid using ‘said’ all the time. I’ve had editors come after me with torches and pitchforks for any tag that wasn’t ‘said’ or ‘asked’; they even objected to the use of tags like ‘yelled’. Perhaps there is a subtle difference in degrees of explanatory tag. A tag like ‘agreed’ is redundant in telling the reader that the dialogue is agreement. Demanded isn’t so much ‘explaining’ what the dialogue means as taking an ordinary question and forcing context onto it with a shortcut of a tag rather than structuring the dialogue as a demand, or using the events of the scene to convey that the character is demanding something.

      The examples I used for explanatory tags are simple illustrations of tags which ‘explain’ the dialogue they modify. Agreement modified by agreed, complaining modified by complained etc. I don’t think any amount of context before or after using ‘complained’ as a dialogue tag would make it any less redundant. To add something more to that sentiment, perhaps ‘whined’ ‘screeched’ or ‘grumbled’ – something that describes the way the character speaks, not attempts to reinforce to the reader that “i hate this” is a complaint.

      ‘Lied’ as a tag doesn’t work for me. You can’t “lie” words. It’s not a mode of speaking. Now, as a beat, I can understand doing something like:
      “I have no idea where they are.” I lied. (The period makes it a beat instead of a tag.) This is fine. However [“I have no idea,” I lied.] doesn’t work because one cannot ‘lie’ words. (Of course, it’s even better if the reader knows its a lie and you don’t have to come out and /tell/ them it’s a lie.) For example, if a character is shown standing on their porch when two guys come running by and hide in the barn, and they say they have no idea where the men went when the cop shows up – it’s obviously a lie. There’s no need for the ‘lied’ tag or beat. Of course, that’s not always possible as in the case of events that happened in the past. A line of inner monologue would convey the mood/sentiment far better than ‘lied’ would. No way am I gonna give my cousins up to this son of a bitch. Not after what he did to Jordan. That also allows you to convey a sense of distrust between the character and the cop that ‘i lied’ can’t.

      Skipping a weak tag as a shortcut doesn’t automatically mean an author has gone purple. Purple prose is going way beyond the pale, describing something as normal as a sunset as “an explosion of the fiery orange sphere from the horizon” is purple. Describing a character narrowing their eyes and pointing a gun at someone’s head before a “Tell me where they went” isn’t purple.

      You are correct in that ‘demanded’ gives the impression instantly; it’s a shortcut. Explanatory tags are weak because they are redundant. If the dialogue already shows explanation, demanding, pleading, complaining, or whatever the case may be – using an explanatory tag on top of that repeats the idea and patronizes the reader.

      Of course as was asked on FB. Some big authors use it and it stands. As with most things related to writing, it’s all subjective. 🙂

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